Half way through the week and it never felt so good! Lately, I have been reflecting quite a bit on friendships and the people I choose to make time for in my free time. As you enter new chapters of time, the people in them begin to change. For example, entering college you make new friends and lose touch with high schools ones. Throughout my life I have always been someone with a few close friends that I tell everything to but I may hang out with more people than that. In college I tended to hang with a few close friends usually my roommates and my bf, Reid. But as I enter the “real world” I noticed my friendships are changing again.
When you graduate college, people in your life continue school, start families, get married. While all that is extremely exciting I can’t help be sad because many of my friends are moving on and do not have time for our old girls nights or days by the pool.
So as I was watching TV with my bf last night I got to thinking about ways to keep your girlfriends even if things are moving in a new direction.
- Ask first: I always feel like I am the one making the plans with friends but friendships go both way so make an effort to make the plans instead of waiting for an invite.
- Make specific plans: Friends are more likely to say “no” to plans if you present it as causal or “Hey, want to hang out Friday?” Instead look up something in your area like live music or try a new restaurant. Showing initiative about plans makes people more likely to say “yes” because the outing is already planned.
- Catch up: Catching up with friends isn’t strictly meeting in person. Make time to call or text about things going on in their life. Then when you do have an outing you don’t have to catch up on the last 6 months of happenings.
- Get to know their other half: A common part of graduating college is people meet people and get married. Make an effort to get to know your friend’s significant other. You could do this by getting a group together for a football game tailgate, a concert, or going on a double date if you are dating someone too.
- Invest in their new interests: Many friendships end or fade because you or the friend get new interests or hobbies. Take an interest in their new likes in order to continue to have things to talk about.
A big part of friendship is making an effort. Trying new things with friends saves you from having a “remember when” friend. I recently read about this on another blog and it made me think about my own relationships. I want to have friendships where we do touch on the past but it is mainly about new experiences not just constant reminiscing.
This is just something I have been experiencing in my new post grad life especially with many people I know getting married. What do you do to keep your old friendships new?